I secretly hate the internet

I secretly hate the internet

Internet broke me. It really did. Yes, I know, I’m writing it all on my blog for the ‘whole’ internet to see and yes, I see the irony!

‘Not to be missed’ news everywhere!
First of all, before the Internet I was more focused, less anxious and I felt like my thoughts were able to flow without constant interruptions. I got rid of the e-mail notifications and Facebook a year ago, but recently, I realized that is not enough.

In the 90’s and 80’s most of us were stuck with evening news. That meant we were able to get on with our lives, without being bombarded with stories 24/7. All the world’s tragedies seemed very distant (you got only few minutes snippet of it) and that was ok. Do you think it’s harsh? I don’t! Most of us are unable to help a village damaged by flood (many, many miles away). All you get from this news is a worry about something you can’t change. The most important news will come to you one way or the other, so by not reading updates on the Internet, you’re not missing out  (except: being stressed and having false sense of control: we all know that international affairs will fail without us knowing everything about them, right?). Obviously, you’re risking being called an ignorant by someone, but who cares?

I’ve noticed that I started to forget things, because of the information overload. I wanted to see and read everything, but my mind couldn’t take it anymore, so I kept forgetting about most of the things I’ve seen and read (which contradicts the point of reading, doesn’t it?). I couldn’t trick my mind into remembering. It knew better- there’s too much unnecessary info.

You’re not good enough.

I knew what I was good at before the internet. Now I’m not so sure, as there’s lots of people doing the same things I do, only better. Internet made me hate myself and world far too many times. It made me doubt. It made a conformist out of me ( and that was really new). Although, I think that is a good thing to grow and change your opinions as a result of thinking things through, it’s not so good to change them under pressure and out of pure confusion. Even blogging do’s and don’ts are hard to decipher without getting in the state of slight paranoia ( Is it ok to? Is it a must have? Is it an absolute faux pa?). Haven’t you asked yourself that at least once in your blogging career?
High school didn’t break me, but internet did… Oh poor, poor teenagers of today! But they probably know better than me how to live in this tech world – that’s the only reality they know, they know how to operate in it. Honestly, I can’t imagine living my teenage years like that: being reminded about your stupidest deeds/sayings on facebook, twitter and having audition tape from the x factor forever and ever. Yep, my dream was to be a singer, so if x factor had existed then, I would have ended up on it! Thank God it didn’t! I’m really, really happy it didn’t! I’m glad my teenage years are dead and buried with all their good, bad and ugly. It’s good that way.

All our eggs in one basket.

It’s great to use things that make our everyday life easier (thanks for clearing that up captain obvious!), but it would be wonderful to make internet something so ‘in the background’ & ‘useful but not necessary’ like radio traffic announcements. That’s certainly not the case now. There’s no life without the internet and that concerns me, as all the other electronic/mechanical invention were just the help/addition. You didn’t have to listen to the radio or have a tv without any (or almost any) repercussions. You’ve had an alternative travel options after car was invented. And with the internet it seems like we’ve put all our eggs in one basket (everything is online: from power plants to friendships). And if you think about it, internet is very fragile: easy to hack, full of errors. It’s fragile but somehow became an absolute.

You’ve made my life so easy.

It’s so easy to control everything from our sofa. But is it really? Does it really make our life simpler? How many accounts and passwords do we have? Can we just popped out to the post office, take a walk, meet people and pay our bills there? Do we really have no time or are we adding and adding to our neverending to do list and make ourselves have no time? Our grandparents had jobs and children (obviously), but did they rush as much as we do now?
I’ve read that meditation and headspace apps are most popular than ever. Don’t get me wrong, I think they are helpful, but you know what they say: the simplest way is the best. Maybe turning your phone off is better than downloading relaxation app? As far as I know, you can still breathe without an app. How’s that for an idea? Do we really need our cars to check our emails, read our texts and do we really need to check our heating on the go? I’m 100 percent sure that it made my anxiety & agoraphobia so much worse. When was the last time you sat in silence, doing absolutely nothing (not even taking mental notes)?

Control panel.

Here comes the most controversial question: would you ditch your cell phone? Would you let your kids go somewhere without the cell phone?
Isn’t just our fear? Fear of not being able to call for help? Although phones are lifesavers in some cases, they don’t guarantee safety and can’t mess up things too (think classic thriller scenario- you’re in hiding and cell phone rings!). And teenagers will find the way to be unreachable anyway.
But it’s not like we live in the desert. Your kids are under constant supervision at school. Teachers know about all the allergies, have emergency contacts written down and they are trained to do the first aid. Your kiddos are probably much safer than 20 years ago, but parents have so much more fear and cell is often an absolute must-have. Is it really something that survivors have in their pockets? Would you be able to go somewhere without your phone? Take a walk, bus trip? How many emergencies, must-take calls do you have daily? What do you think about ditching your cell phone? Is it brave? Stupid? Unnecessary? Going back to the dark ages?

I think that if you have kiddos, it’s especially hard to let go. It’s parents’ safety net after all.

There’s life out there!

I really think we underestimate the power of human contact (especially teenagers do).
Teenagers glued to their phone whilst on school trips make my blood boil. Put your freaking phone down & look up! There’s LIFE UP THERE!
I can’t accept this new form of communication, as deep down inside I feel it’s not right. Not all of it of course, but sadly most of it! Or maybe I’m just old and grumpy.
I believe researches when they say that electronics change dynamics in our brains. And showing printed pictures to friends sitting on your sofa was so much better than sending digital ones via email. It’s awesome that we’re able to share our photos instantly with friends living abroad, but it isn’t like before the internet people have never seen any pics ever. They just waited a little longer (and they were ok with it ).
I will never forget the anticipation I felt when my films were being developed at the photo shop!

What I like about the internet.

Well, I like blogging. I like the fact that people can share their stories and ideas. And it’s not exclusive, anyone can do it. I love the fact that you can find kindred spirits on the other sides of the globe and support each other. And that you can make career out of blogging. It’s pretty cool!
I like movie streaming services. And I was pretty psyched about instagram for a while ( I loved that retro look).

But to sum it up, these are things I can really live without. It’s a lovely addition, but not necessity.

Going old style

I remember how psyched we were with my friend about emails back in a day. We thought that it was the coolest thing ever. It was such a fun to be able to contact each other in a snap of the fingers and write stupidest things, our inside jokes, things only we could understand. But most of the time we were writing long emails, pouring our hearts out. And here comes the question: do people write this days? When was the last time you’ve received a letter or long e-mail with actual words not emojis and abbreviations? That’s why I like blogging concept, as posts are usually long, thoughtful and people’s personality really shines through their words. I’m not keen on twitter and facebook.

I’m probably the biggest hypocrite ever. As I did most of the things listed above (and I still do some of them). But I’m making changes. A lot of changes.They may seem like a drag for moment or two, but they are worth it the long run.I still haven’t decided how far I will go with ditching the internet, but I’ll listen to my gut feeling.

I’m guilty of taking the obvious (‘easiest’) way, that turned out to be harder and most time consuming than ever. Helpful ‘managing all of your accounts online’, was not so helpful after all, because of all the glitches, info overload, promotional emails, passwords, surveys, distractions, direct debit mistakes and so on. Paying bills at the post office seems like a breeze now. Having all the pictures on CDs, computer disc and ‘old’ smartphones made me not look at them at all or forgetting I have them or where I can find them. I’ve got my old, printed photos in order though: neatly organized in photo albums. I’ve also noticed that I don’t take that much smartphone pics as I used to. I tend to simply enjoy the walk instead of snapping pics.

Basically, what I’m saying is that I stopped, started to breath and thought: ‘What am I doing? I’m not feeling good with this. And I must have felt that way for a while. I wanted to do things THE RIGHT WAY which wasn’t MY WAY and that is unacceptable for me and it always was!  Can I just simply be me?’

And if you feel the same, don’t be afraid to take the leap. There’s life besides the internet!

I’m using my real name today (instead of internet nickname).

Lots of love,

 

justyna

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21 thoughts on “I secretly hate the internet

  1. You are so right. We live in an age of “Information Overload”. Hearing every horrible thing that happens in the world is just depressing. At the same time, it’s wonderful to live in an age where you can work and make a living from home. But then again…that’s less human contact. I think the key is balance. I totally agree with you about putting down the phones and just enjoying the moment. Less recording the moment and more living the moment.

  2. Wow, such a thought-provoking post and I love it! I seriously have some days where I wish nothing more than to just chuck the cell phone and computer out the window. Don’t get me wrong, as you mentioned, it has its advantages and I love that it has opened so many doors for individuals out there beyond what anyone would have ever been able to do years ago. But at the same token, I feel like we live in a world now where we are too connected, but not in the right way. We constantly know what’s going on in the news around the world, the latest controversy, the latest gossip, but we unfortunately rarely know what’s happening just down the street from us. Seeing parents and children in public places glued to their phones makes me so sad, and I honestly think people forgot that society survived before technology ruled our lives, and this is all coming from a millennial who has pretty much grew up on technology her whole life. I’m definitely with you on this. Great post!

    • Thank you, Cara!
      These are great points: not knowing what’s happening down the road & not remembering that we’ve survived without technology.
      After all, it’s been 15 years or so and we’ve been here much much longer 🙂
      Opportunities & new jobs are certainly pros- so many interesting people and talents came to light!
      Thanks so much for reading.

  3. Technology can most definitely be overwhelming. And the funny thing is that it sucks you in so well that you often don’t realize how much it is stressing you out until much later! I think having a day off of it each week would be a wonderful idea. If I can just convince myself that my young blog won’t suffer much from it. How’s that for too much internet? haha

    • I agree, we don’t even realize that it is stressing us out! I was wondering about that too – will my blog suffer? I’ll see. I’m giving myself freedom. Posting what I want & when I want, without any schedule (except the link party of course:)

      xx

  4. I’m right there with ya! I have a Facebook that I use to keep in touch with family and friends because I live far away from all of them but I don’t go on there often anymore because all everyone posts, especially here in the U.S., it’s all complain, complain, complain about politics, racism, religious stuff. It’s always something. Never mind the news constantly filling my news feed with so many negative stories. It’s enough to make a person go insane. I have a teenage son and he doesn’t have a cell phone yet. I’m trying to wait until it’s absolutely necessary but I have seen kids my younger son’s age, 9yrs old, have phones and I think that’s ridiculous. At the same time, there are huge benefits to having the internet like the picture sharing and my blog. It’s a catch-22. I’m both modern and old school at the same time. I think most of our generation is. We spent our childhoods outside most of the time and building forts, our teenage years just as the internet was being created, then boom! Now we are smack dab in the middle of the great technological advances human history has ever seen (which can be debated) and we are still remembering “the good ole’ days” when it was just us playing outside with our friends and using our imaginations. That’s why I often find myself taking a lot of hikes these days because I still remember what that peaceful feeling of being out in nature feels like and it helps me to clear my head from all of the complicated and busy thoughts swimming around inside my brain. Popping over from #waywow
    Michelle recently posted…Manic Monday #2My Profile

    • Spot on! Reading just one news story a day from every continent, can make you depressed for a week.
      That peaceful feeling when you’re outside is the best and puts everything in perspective!
      I completely agree- we are caught in the middle, it’s so weird!

      PS-I’m sharing my whiny internet story with your lovely Manic Monday party:)

      • I am visiting from my #manicmonday linky Thanks so much for linking up with me! I really enjoyed your rant, LOL! I rant about the internet all the time to my friends. I tell them they and my family are the only reason I bother going on Facebook half the time. Thanks again for linking up! I hope to see you again next week!
        Michelle recently posted…Fitness Fridays: week #3My Profile

  5. Brilliant…sad but true. I had pretty much resisted all forms of social media until I became ‘a blogger’ and, as you know, you can’t be a blogger without social media. So now I find myself checking all these social media sites multiple times a day…ugh…
    And the thing with kids and cell phones…out of control and I’m so guilty for enabling it. My daughter is away at college and we chat or talk multiple times a day. When I was in college I would talk to my parents once a week…it forced me to deal with my problems on my own. Now I hear about every issue and she doesn’t have to figure it out by herself.
    Thanks for provoking thought

    • I hear you! I hate all the social media stuff and I’m not good at it. I forget to post regularly & I check my messages with the delay. And twitter is a x files mystery to me! 🙂
      And the thing about talking to your daughter several times a day – it didn’t even cross my mind that it might be so much harder to cut the cord in this tech age- so true!

  6. Mila, I think you nailed it here!
    I have a love and loathe relationship with the internet but I have to acknowledge that it’s completely fed into my introvert tendencies and I can go weeks without seeing people in person. At the same time I feel like I’m on information overload. How weird is that?
    I do love the fact that, as a parent of very young children, I can look up just about anything that I want any time of the day. That’s pretty cool. Because when I raised my first set of kids I had to rely on relatives that I didn’t really agree with or wait to get to the library every three weeks or so. But the rest of it is kind of overwhelming. So much so that I opted out of most of my email subscriptions and shut down my Facebook groups.
    What a great article! 🙂

    • Thank you, Jenna!
      I opted out of most of my subscriptions as well. When I saw empty inbox for the first time in years I thought it must be a crazy dream 😉
      I agree, it can put your mind at ease and save lives too. You can look up sepsis symptoms,etc anytime when you’re worried.

  7. Mila, there are parts here that I absolutely agree with, I set boundaries in the beginning, I don’t watch the news and I don’t read it online either. I use the internet to blog and keep up with friends. Since I have been diagnosed with APS I don’t get out of the house as much and so I’m able to keep up with friends online. So I love the internet, and the ability to find great recipes from all over the world, love it. The internet helps people like me who can’t get out as much.

    But, I also see the effects of the internet on kids, and the overwhelm that it brings. That makes me sad. Or to watch the online bullying. Horrible.

    I guess there is a good and bad about almost everything, we just need to find out where our boundaries are and stick to it!!! Good luck!

    • Yes, balance is everything. The funny thing is that internet seemed like a godsend, when my agoraphobia got worse, but now I think it slowed down recovery process.
      I know it helps a lot of people though. xx

  8. […] my public meltdown, I decided it’s time to unplug and that’s exactly what I did. I made some big changes […]

  9. Mila, I totally agree with the internet being overwhelming. I get so overwhelmed by the emails and notifications. I feel the need to constantly check them. But, won’t they still be there if I only check in the morning and at night? I have a lot of my life online. Actually my part time job is online as well. Although, lately I’ve been pulling back a bit. I try to only spend the necessary time on things. This leaves me more time to spend with my family. When we go out, I leave my phone behind a lot of the time. Usually hubby brings his. Why would we need more than one phone? Also, I’m in between phases of a picture project that I’m doing. I completely agree with getting pictures printed. I have all of my family’s photos and finished sorting the loose ones. Now, I’m about to organize all of the unfinished albums. Having that memory in your hands is so different than seeing it on a screen. It’s more tangible.

    I love the connections that the internet offers. It’s how I communicate with a lot of my out of town friends. It’s how I tutor students online. It is how my family pays it’s bills and I blog too. But, it can be too much sometimes. Without limits, I could miss an entire evening spent with my hubby. It’s a useful tool, but it’s also a dangerous addiction.
    Gina recently posted…My All Time Favorite Green Clay Face MaskMy Profile

    • That is such a good point: why do we need more than one phone when we’re out !? 🙂
      I totally agree: useful tool, but can be addictive. There’s something about the internet that makes you want more and more. What you can’t do in the real world sometimes, is just one click away in virtual world and that is so tempting!

  10. I love blogging but I too get overwhelmed at times. I think I have managed to get the right balance now. When I am working I do spend a lot of time on the internet but during holidays and when the kids are around I sometimes totally like to drop out of the mainframe. This is with internet, emails, mobile messaging – I go under the radar! My mum and family get annoyed at me because they can’t contact me – but hey, I have a house phone, ring me on that – If I am home I will answer it!
    Sam @ Living The Dutch Dream recently posted…Spring And Easter Home Decor IdeasMy Profile

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